Dear Mom, Dad, Uncle, Auntie: Black Lives Matter to Us, Too

Last week in the United States, police killed a Black man named Alton Sterling while he was selling CDs in front of a store. The next day, police killed another Black man, Philando Castile, after pulling him over for a broken tail light while his girlfriend and four-year-old daughter were in the car.

This year, of the more than 500 people already killed by U.S. police, 25% were Black, even though Black people make up 13% of the population. In Canada, Black people are also negatively stereotyped, targeted and treated violently by the police, and are overrepresented in prisons. Canadian police have recently claimed the lives of Andrew Loku, Jermaine Carby, Abdi Hirsi, Jean-Pierre Bony, and many other Black people. Overwhelmingly, police do not face any consequences for ending these lives.

This is a terrifying reality that many of my Black friends live with every day.

Even as we hear about the dangers that Black people face, our instinct is sometimes to point at the ways we’re different from them, and to shield ourselves from their reality instead of empathizing. When a police officer shoots a Black person, it’s easy to think it’s the victim’s fault, because we hear so many negative stereotypes about them in the media, and at our own dinner tables.

I want to share with you how I’ve come to see things. I think you might see things similarly.

We face discrimination for being Asian in this country. Sometimes people judge us negatively because of our different accents, or deny us opportunities because they don’t think of us as “leadership material.” Many of our elders have not been able to practice their chosen professions because their education from home was seen as inadequate. Some of us struggle with poverty. Some of us are told we’re terrorists, and made to feel unwelcome.

But the police don’t regularly gun down our children and parents for simply existing to the same extent that they do with Black and Indigenous peoples. Employers, landlords and institutions also often treat us better than Black and Indigenous peoples.

There are reasons why our Black friends experience things differently. As you may already know, Europeans colonized this continent, stole land and resources from Indigenous peoples, and forcibly brought Black people from Africa as slaves. For centuries, their descendants, communities, families, and bodies were ripped apart for profit. Even after slavery, they continued to be treated as less than human and were given very little support to rebuild their lives. Black people had to fight for the right to vote or own homes, and faced constant threats of violence, which continue to this day.

In fighting for their own rights, Black activists have led the movement for equality not just for themselves, but for us as well. They’ve been beaten, jailed, and even killed, fighting for many of the rights that Asians in Canada enjoy today. We owe them so much in return. We are all fighting against the same unfair system that prefers we compete against each other. Many Black people come to Canada as immigrants or refugees, looking for a better life and safety for themselves and their families, just like many of you have. Our struggles, while not all the same, are interconnected.

For all of these reasons, I support Black Lives Matter and other movements for Black liberation. Part of that means speaking up when I see people in my community — or my own family — say or do things that diminish the humanity of Black people. I am telling you out of love, because I don’t want this issue to divide us.

I hope you join me in empathizing with the anger and grief of the parents, siblings, partners and children who have lost their loved ones to police violence. I hope you empathize with my anger and grief, and support me if I choose to be vocal or protest. I ask that you share this letter with your friends, and encourage them to be empathetic and vocal too. I know that it can feel scary to speak up. However, we cannot in good conscience stay silent while fellow human beings’ lives are endangered every day, especially by the very system that supposedly protects us.

As your child, I am proud and eternally grateful for your long, hard journey here, and that you’ve worked hard and lived in a place that hasn’t always been kind to you. You’ve never wished your struggles upon me. Instead, you’ve suffered through a prejudiced Canada to give me a better life than the one you had. We’re all in this together, and we cannot feel safe until ALL of our friends, loved ones, and neighbours are safe. We seek a place where everyone in Canada can live without fear of police violence, racism, and discrimination. This is the future that I want — I hope you do too.

With love and hope,

Your children